If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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