i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
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