conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize