I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize