i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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