New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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