I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The power of my boobs compel you
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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