Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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