she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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