I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize