i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
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I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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