Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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