I wish I could punch you in the face.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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