put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
dude i'm inner monologue high
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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