I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize