just tell him i said nine months
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
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its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't deserve a penis
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
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Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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