So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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