we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize