sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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