we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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