I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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