i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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