My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize