I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I deserve this hangover.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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