Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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