I hate all girls vehemently.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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