are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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