Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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