True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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