Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize