This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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