1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize