ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize