I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
BRING THE BAGELS
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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