I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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