I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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