ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
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i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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