So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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