Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize