I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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