would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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