My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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