The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize