I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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