So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize