This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize