He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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