so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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