Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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