so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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