whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize