Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize